Joe wondered what he should wear to meet Jay. He didn't know
why exactly, but he felt a strange indescribable feeling whenever
he thought about his pal. He didn't know what was causing it, but
knew he was abnormally anxious to meet him again.
Going to the bedroom closet, Joe looked at the male clothes
hanging there. He went back out and opened a dresser drawer.
There he found his undershorts and t-shirts. These t-shirts could
still be worn, he decided. They might be a little big now, but he
had noticed that Linda liked them too large when she wore them.
Most girls seemed to wear them that way. He began looking through
the assortment, the many logos, some displaying airplanes,
airshows, or automobiles on the front or back. He picked a few he
liked the best, the ones he thought would still look ok now, and
tucked four of them under his arm. He slid the drawer closed as he
considered trying to find some jeans. Nope, he decided, none of
these, they were his male pants, and they wouldn't fit his now
maybe only a little smaller, but definitely softer and rounder
shape. He rubbed his butt with his hands. It felt like it was
probably still changing, getting a little softer each day. If he
was ever going to wear jeans again, like almost everything else, he
would have to get some new ones. Or maybe borrow some from Linda
to try on.
Joe looked around his bedroom. The feeling he got from seeing
the familiar room made him wonder if he should move from Linda's
and return home. He still liked Linda, and she seemed to still
like him, but it was easy to tell their relationship was changing.
He now no longer thought of her as his fiance, that was fairly
impossible now, but rather more like a friend, maybe a best friend
and confidant, and, strange as it may seem, sort of like a big
sister, even if they were practically the same age. With the
changes he was going through, and the things he had to adapt to, he
needed someone to help, to explain the way things worked, sometimes
even the proper way to dress or act. Linda did that. She seemed
to love doing it. Their new relationship sometimes seemed awkward,
but he couldn't imagine anyone else who could make learning the
things he had to learn any easier. It was embarrassing sometimes,
though, for both of them. But it did make them close, in a
different kind of way than before, as Linda introduced Joe to the
trials and pleasures of being female.
Walking into the living area, Joe gathered up the pile of mail
that he had collected. He stopped in the kitchen and decided to
check his refrigerator. It had been some days since he had been
home, and he had left rather suddenly. A quick peek and he decided
that all was ok. He usually never kept much in there anyway.
Plenty of beer though, and that stuff wouldn't spoil. He thought
about it, and realized that he didn't really think he liked the
taste of it anymore. Was his enjoyment of a cool brew also a
victim of these new hormones coursing through his veins? What was
next? Of course, that he already knew. He could tell by the way
his heart seemed to flutter as he was on the phone with Jay, what
another difference was. It embarrassed him to think it could
happen, but he now knew for sure, he actually found himself feeling
excited as he thought about meeting Jay. Jay, his best friend, his
college roommate, drinking buddy, and car hobby pal. He had always
considered Jay his best friend, but he never before found himself
feeling like this. Many things concerning his body had changed,
changed a lot in some ways, but Joe still knew when he was being
sexually aroused. There were differences, of course. An
'erection' no longer showed now, and he was quite familiar with the
uncomfortable feel of wet underwear that now often accompanied
excitement. It was difficult to accept that even thinking about
his pal Jay sometimes made that happen, but it was undeniably true.
He made a fist with his hand and rubbed it along the front of
the short skirt he was wearing, feeling the slight bump of his
pubic bone and, below that, the hollow area where his male parts
should have been. Like it or not, what had happened was real, and
when he stopped to consider it all, it really wasn't so strange,
his body had changed, probably now even his guts were female, and
his brain was simply trying to catch up, reacting to the chemicals
his changed organs were sending it. The only things about him
still male were his memories. Apparently, he had no more control
over these new feelings and desires than he did the changes in his
shape. Truly a strange predicament to be in.
Joe took one last look around the apartment, then took the
clothes and mail, which made quite a handful, and went to his car.
With such a load, he found it impossible to lock the door, so he
went to the car and came back. As he was locking his door, a woman
who lived a few doors down from him came down the walk. She saw
Joe locking the door, and looked him over carefully. Who was this
woman coming out of Joe's apartment, she wondered? She was passing
friends with Joe, at least Joe the male. Though she was happily
married, she had often watched the attractive guy who lived next to
her washing or tinkering with his car. What a hunk, she had
thought. She had seen Linda around Joe's apartment quite often,
and figured that they were probably getting serious. She hadn't
seen Joe all week, and now here's this girl coming out of his
apartment. It wasn't Linda, but someone younger, and also quite
good looking. She felt a slight trace of envy as she walked toward
the young woman.
"Hi," she said innocently. "Is Joe back?"
Joe eyed the woman suspiciously. He knew her. Her name was
Kathy Baker. She was lived two doors down and was married to an
accountant. Joe had always considered her attractive and thought
she always showed an unusual interest in him whenever they met in
casual conversation. Now, of course, it was obvious that she
didn't even recognize him. She probably thought he was one of his
girlfriends. What to do?
"No, he's not here," Joe lied. "He's on a trip for the
company, and he asked me to watch his place."
What else could he say? He just wasn't prepared to explain
what had happened to this woman. It wasn't her business anyway.
Of course, she was probably just trying to be friendly. She'd
probably find out the truth soon enough if he stayed this way.
The woman smiled and continued on, suspecting nothing. Joe,
his heart pounding like a hammer, walked to his car and awkwardly
got in. He saw Kathy again, still watching him. She was sitting
in her car, getting ready to drive away, when she saw that the
woman who had been in Joe's apartment also had his sports car. Joe
smiled at her and started his engine. He left the parking lot and
drove to Linda's house.
When Joe arrived at Linda's, her car was not in the drive. He
looked at his wristwatch. Four thirty, Linda probably wouldn't be
home for at least an hour. Just as well. He preferred to be alone
as he tried to find something to wear to go flying with Jay. What
a strange paradox. He felt he wanted to do familiar 'guy' things
with his pal, but at the same time, for some unexplained reason, he
also wanted Jay to find him attractive. It was a weird feeling,
and he couldn't completely understand why he felt this way.
Joe took his things straight to his room. He piled the mail
on the bed, and put the t-shirts on the dresser. When he did that,
he saw his reflection in the dresser mirror. He couldn't help
looking, and it took a second to realize that the attractive woman
on the other side of the glass was his own reflection. He rubbed
his hand across his chest, squeezing the softness of his left boob.
Would there ever be time when he became accustomed to all this?
He flopped on the bed, and pulled his shoes off. Boy, that
feels good, he thought. But this pantyhose is just plain hot. He
tried to pull them down from under the short skirt, and then
decided maybe it would be best if he took that off first. He stood
up, unbuttoned and then unzipped the skirt, and stepped out of it.
Still wearing the full slip, he pulled it up his hips a little,
then reached under it and tucked his thumbs into the waistband of
the hose and pulled them down, leaving the panties on and relishing
the exquisite coolness as he removed the hose. I sure wouldn't
have thought something so sheer could be so hot, he thought as he
rubbed his hands along the smooth bare skin of his upper thighs.
Joe carefully hung the skirt on its hanger, then pulled the
slip over his head. He unbuttoned his blouse and took it off,
putting it on the same hanger as the skirt, then put them both in
his closet.
Wearing only bra and panties made Joe feel strangely sexy. He
didn't know why, but now, sometimes, right after he undressed and
almost naked, wearing only underwear usually, Joe felt weird, kind
of voluptuous or something. His changed body, his breasts, not
that he was really that big or anything, he sometimes just felt so,
so female, so fertile. It was, of course, feeling he had never
experienced before the change, and right now it felt so good it
actually made his skin tingle.
Joe went to the dresser to pick out a T-shirt. As he walked,
he could felt his bladder remind him it was full. He went into the
bathroom and, as he sat there, he looked up and saw the underwear
hanging on the shower door. It was dry, and ready to put away.
When he finished, he gathered up the dainty things and took them
back into the bedroom. As he did, he examined each item as he
folded it and placed it in the drawer. Holding up the black thong
bikini, he was again amazed at how tiny it was. It was hard to
accept that something like this even fit him. It took some getting
used to the feel of having that narrow strap in the crack of your
butt, but it sure did look sexy. Joe was tempted to try it on
again. Black will show through under a T-shirt, he thought, but
not a black T-shirt.
He went over to the pile of shirts he brought from his
apartment. One of them had a picture of an SR-71 on the back. He
bought it at an airshow in California last summer. And it was
solid BLACK. No problem with show through wearing this. He held
it up in front of him. Yeah, it was a little big now, but it would
be ok. He decided to put it on.
Joe located the little bra that matched the bikini. He
unhooked the one he was wearing and quickly put the black one on.
He liked the way it looked and felt. Like the panty, it was shiny
black, made of nylon, lycra-spandex, or some slick fabric like
that, with no decoration but a tiny pearl between the cups. It was
slightly stretchy, and it fit his new shape perfectly. He removed
his panties and stepped into the tiny black thong. He pulled it to
his hips, adjusting the waist so that everything fit smoothly.
There wasn't much to it, but it covered everything that needed to
be covered. It felt a little strange to wear, because it touched
places that weren't usually touched, but it sure looked sexy as
hell. He almost hated to get dressed.
Taking the black T-shirt, Joe pulled it over his head. He
looked down and grinned when he saw the way his breasts distorted
the drawing of the SR-71. Never thought it would look like this
when I bought it, he thought.
He didn't have jeans, so Joe looked at the small assortment of
shorts he and Linda had bought. Before, he almost never wore
shorts when flying. Now, he didn't even have any long pants.
Unless he wore a skirt or the pants suit, he'd have to wear
something chosen from this stack. He had worn the white ones
before, and besides, black underwear might show through, the green,
no, dark gray, yeah, excellent. He pulled them on, tucked the
T-shirt in, studied his reflection in the mirror, and then pulled
it back out. It looked ok, he thought, casual, not too feminine,
but it didn't hide the fact that he was now a girl. He finished by
putting on some white sport socks and then his new Reeboks.
Joe went back into the bathroom and started to brush his
hairpiece. It'll sure be better when I don't need this anymore, he
thought as he preened the short hair into place. When he thought
about it, the wig felt like a hot, snug fitting cap. He still wore
a trace of lipstick from earlier, and he decided to wipe it off.
He wanted to look as natural as possible, and found that a damp
washcloth worked pretty well to remove lipstick and mascara. When
he was done, he decided to try a little of the perfume Linda had
left on the sink. Joe daubed a bit behind each ear, not really
knowing how it should be done, but guessing what might work. He
just knew he liked the way it made him smell.
All finished, Joe found his flight bag. He noticed the small
handbag laying on the bed, and wondered if he should take it too.
He didn't want to. He looked inside the bag. It contained his
keys, his license, and his cash, and credit cards. He really
needed to take it, but where? Seeing the flight bag, he put the
handbag inside. He took the flight bag into the living room and
sat on the couch. If Jay was running on time, he would be here
soon.
Suddenly, Joe started to feel apprehensive again. What causes
me to feel this way, he wondered? Was it his friend Jay? Could
that be what was making his knees weak and his pulse rise? Why
should Jay cause this? They were just going flying, Jay was his
student, and besides, I asked him, he thought. Nothing about any
of this to be nervous about. They had flown together maybe
hundreds of times. Yeah, but I didn't have tits then, Joe
considered.
Joe sat reading yesterday's newspaper for maybe fifteen
minutes when he heard the sound of Jay's Porsche in the drive. He
went over to meet him at the door. It was so strange, so formal,
to be picked up like this. He would have preferred to meet Jay at
the plane like always. This seemed more like a date or something.
He wondered if that's what Jay had in mind. Surely not, Joe didn't
feel ready for that, even if he might have to stay this way
forever.
Jay rang the bell, and smiled when he saw Joe open the door.
Jay had obviously changed clothes too, and was wearing a sport
shirt and jeans. He looked at Joe, and grinned broadly.
"You look great, Joe," he said approvingly. Joe looked at his
pal, whom he thought seemed to be acting strangely.
"Thanks, Jay. You do too."
"Are you all ready to go?"
"Sure. All I had to do was change clothes. I brought this
T-shirt from my apartment. It still looks ok, don't you think?"
"Yeah, it looks great," Jay said with a strange admiration in
his voice.
The way Jay looked at him, and spoke to him, made Joe feel
self-conscious. He couldn't understand why Jay was acting this
way, and he didn't know how to ask him about it.
Carrying his flight bag, Joe locked the door, and followed Jay
to his car. He felt awkward when Jay unlocked his side, opened the
door, and held it open for him. He put his bag behind the seat,
and then climbed in. It was quickly becoming obvious that Jay was
treating him the way he treated women. Joe wanted to object, but
decided to hold his tongue. He couldn't deny looking like a girl.
He figured that he probably felt, or was beginning to feel like a
girl, too. And it was possible, maybe even likely, that he would
have to be a girl, maybe for the rest of his life. Perhaps he
should try to get used to being treated like this. It may seem
strange, but then, it was kind of nice, too. What could it hurt?
Jay seemed to love doing it. He wondered if he had acted the same
way around women. If he did, he hadn't realized it. Of course,
now he was seeing it from a completely different perspective.
Maybe something he had read somewhere was really true, anatomy is
destiny.
Joe fastened his seat belt as Jay strapped into the left seat.
They drove quickly to the airport and pulled into the parking area.
They walked the hundred yards to Jay's Mooney, and Jay unlocked the
door. When Jay hopped off the wing, Joe crawled up on it and
dropped his flight bag on the back seat. The bag really wasn't
heavy, but Joe noticed that carrying it required noticeably more
effort to lift than it used to. Just another result of the damn
feminization his body had undergone, he realized. He really hadn't
lost much height with the change, and therefore was probably
somewhat taller than average for a female. He hoped he wouldn't
continue to lose muscle mass, but it was probably unrealistic to
expect to remain strong as before, considering all that had
occurred.
"Where do you want to go?" Jay asked.
"Do you have a preference?"
"You're the one who wanted to fly," Jay said grinning, "you
pick where."
"I'm sorry Jay, I hope I didn't push too hard," Joe said
softly. "I just want to get away from all the female stuff for a
while. I thought maybe if we went flying, it might be more like
before."
"Joe, you know I'll help you however I can," Jay said, looking
into Joe's eyes. "But I really don't see how it can ever be like
before. Not after the things we've done."
Standing close to Jay, behind the wing of the plane, Joe
looked into his eyes.
"Are you sorry it happened?" Joe asked.
"Absolutely not," Jay responded quickly. "But I don't see how
I can treat someone I've slept with, had sex with, for god's sake,
how can we just go back to acting like old buddies after that?"
"Jay, I don't care what I'm like on the outside, I'm still the
same person I was a week ago. I know there are differences, a lot
of them. I'm sure I'm more aware of them than anybody. I don't
even know all the things that have happened, and maybe are still
happening, but I do know it's still me here. Maybe I do look like
a girl, and I may even try to act like one sometimes, but I still
feel like a guy most of the time. I guess maybe my sexual
preferences are changing. Hell, I know they are. Joe lowered his
eyes, feeling embarrassment. But I still have a need to be treated
like a guy, at least sometimes. That's all I'm asking from you."
"Damn it, Joe, look at you," Jay said. "How could I treat you
like a man? You're just too damn beautiful."
"Can't you just try to forget what I look like? At least just
once in a while, pretend that nothing has happened." Joe knew,
even as he spoke the words, that they sounded ridiculous.
"Give me a break, Joe," Jay protested, grinning. "Maybe you
can forget, but I'm still male, and for me, I think that's just
about impossible. Too many things keep reminding me." He pointed
to the noticeable bulge in his pants.
Joe felt a warm flush come to his reddening face. He wasn't
used to causing that kind of reaction in his friend, and he found
it quite embarrassing. He wished he could just go somewhere and
hide until the feeling went away. It wasn't Jay's fault. He knew
he would have done the same thing himself. He sometimes did even
now, slightly different of course, when confronted by his own
reflection in the mirror.
Joe smiled coyly at Jay. "Just keep that thing away from me,"
he said grinning, trying not to stare at Jay's crotch.
He didn't know why he was so embarrassed, but he was. There
was no way either of them could forget that some things were very
different now.
"Let's go to Tucson," Joe said quickly, in an attempt to
change the subject.
Tucson was about one hundred nautical miles from their home
base. It was an easy hop in the Mooney. Almost too easy. They
could fly there, shoot a couple of instrument approaches, and be
back in a couple of hours. It would still be daylight when they
got back.
Together, they walked to the Thunderbird office. Thunderbird
was one of two FBO's which served the Deer Valley airport, and was
where Tim worked, at least before the change. They went inside,
and Joe was suddenly aware that all eyes were on him. He recog-
nized most of the people there, and he just knew that they
recognized him. He was sure that the news of what had happened had
reached Thunderbird, especially since Tim had stopped showing up at
work so suddenly and uncharacteristically.
Joe was relieved when they retreated to the seclusion of the
Planning Room. They had both made the Tucson trip many times
before, and neither really needed to do much planning, but Jay was
building hood time for his instrument ticket, and Joe insisted that
they follow all procedures, as if they were going one thousand
miles, rather than a hundred. Jay went through the motions of
checking the weather. As usual, it was severe clear, and then he
filled out a flight plan. Joe passed the time looking at the wall
chart, hoping Jay would finish quickly and they could get in the
air. When Jay finished, he filed on the computer at the end of the
room, and then went over to Joe.
"Are you ready?" He asked.
"Is it safe to fly?" Joe teased.
"Yeah, as soon as I stop at the head," Jay answered.
Joe thought a moment. No doubt about it, he had better do the
same. He no longer had the endurance he had before the change, and
it was better to be safe than sorry. He followed Jay down the
hall, but stopped when he turned and entered the men's restroom.
Joe continued on to the next door, and went inside.
Even after almost a week, it still made him feel like an
invader each time he went inside a public ladies' room. He just
couldn't shake the feeling he didn't belong there. It didn't
matter how he looked, or that it would certainly raise more
eyebrows if had followed Jay into the men's room, going in here
just didn't seem right. Joe walked in timidly, and looked around.
The place was empty. He entered a stall, closed the door, and
quickly emptied his bladder. He finished, and went to the sink to
wash up. While there, he carefully examined his hair and appear-
ance. He was trying to develop the habit of doing that whenever he
had the opportunity. It was difficult for a guy, especially one
who usually gave little thought to such things as he had, to place
the same emphasis on looking nice that most women displayed.
With one last look, and a quick straightening of his clothing,
Joe went back out into the hallway. Jay was waiting for him. It
seemed to Joe that his pal now often looked at him with a mixture
of admiration, humor, and perhaps curiosity. It embarrassed Joe
whenever he did that, and he was doing it now.
Joe followed Jay out the door, glad to be back out on the
empty parking ramp. When they were away from the buildings, Joe
walked alongside Jay.
"Why do you look at me that way?" Joe asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I think you know, that shit-eating grin, those cow eyes. I
think you know what I'm talking about," Joe countered, grinning.
He was serious, but didn't want Jay to take it the wrong way.
"I do that?" Jay asked incredulously, teasing, but with a huge
grin that was evidence he knew what Joe meant.
"Yeah, you do, and you know it too," Joe went on, trying his
best not to let his voice sound like a whining woman.
"Why do I do it? Why do I look at you in a different way than
I used to? Is that the question?" Without waiting for an answer,
Jay continued. "Could it be because my best friend, my college
buddy, my roommate, partner in womanizing, one of the best
practical jokers I know, the best practical mechanic I know, one of
the best pilots, except for me, of course, that I know, this macho
guy, suddenly calls and tells me he's been transformed into one of
the finest looking women I've ever seen. And it doesn't even seem
to faze him. Frankly Joe, I'm impressed. I just don't see how you
do it. I think if it happened to me, I'd either spend the whole
day at home playing with myself, or else I'd jump off a bridge."
Joe grinned. "Of course, I haven't tried the bridge yet, but
I can tell you this, you'd probably get tired of staying home."
"Joe, we've been friends a long time, what is it now, eleven,
twelve years? We have about the same interests. We both like
cars, airplanes, and even the same taste in women, at least we
did," Jay said, chuckling as he spoke that last sentence.
"What are you getting at?" Joe asked.
"I think we get along pretty well together. We always have.
I like you. I'm sure you like me too, or you wouldn't have
tolerated my constant bugging you for help with my car. But now,
with what has happened, with you like that, I don't know for sure,
but I think my feelings for you are changing. I think maybe, damn
it Joe, I don't even know how if I can say it. I, I think I might
even be falling for you, like, like you were a real woman. Is that
a kick in the head, or what?" Jay seemed relieved after he
finished speaking.
Joe felt a flush come to his face as he listened to Jay. It
really didn't come as a surprise though. It only confirmed what he
had suspected. Jay no longer thought of him as just his "buddy."
It was obvious by the way he looked and acted that he considered
Joe a "real" woman, and felt he had to treat him as such. That's
why he was so uncharacteristically polite, sometimes even conde-
scending, and why he was always grinning, and acting awkward around
him.
"You're 'falling' for me?" Joe asked. "Just what are you
trying to say, Jay?" He tried to act as if it was all a surprise.
He seldom saw his friend at such a loss for words.
"Damn it Joe, I don't know. Maybe it sounds crazy to you.
But I can't help it, I really think you make a pretty nice woman.
I hope you don't take that as an insult, because it isn't meant to
be," Jay tried awkwardly to explain.
"Well, considering that my chances on getting changed back
don't look all that great, maybe it's a good thing, that you think
I make a pretty nice girl, that is."
"Is that what they're telling you?"
"I'm sure that they don't even know for sure what caused it
yet," Joe responded. "And even less about how to change us back."
"So what do you plan to do about it?"
"I don't have a lot of options, as far as I can tell. I'm
just trying to make the best of what I've got."
"And doing pretty well it seems," Jay complimented. "Most of
the time it's hard for me to remember that you weren't born like
that."
"I guess I am getting accustomed to my body being like this,"
Joe said. "But I don't know if I'll ever get used to the way I get
treated because of the way I look."
"How's that?" Jay asked, "Do you mean bad, or good?"
"Oh, I guess it's mostly good," Joe answered. "I haven't
really found any real discrimination so far. Of course, it's only
been a week, and I haven't been around that many strangers."
They were getting near the plane, and Joe was slightly ahead
of Jay as they walked toward it.
"Well, I still think you look gorgeous," Jay said. "You think
like a man, but you're more attractive than any woman I know. What
more could a guy ask for?"
"I don't know about thinking like a man," Joe countered. "And
I don't really think I'm all that good looking, either." He grinned
shyly.
"You don't?" Jay asked. "Why not? I think you're fantastic
looking."
"Do you really?" Joe considered the feminizing of his body.
Sure it was erotically interesting to be changed overnight, and
then wake up looking like this, especially at first, and he
certainly liked the sensations from his now softer, thinner, more
sensitive skin. He didn't consider himself ugly, but he really
didn't think he was all that beautiful either.
"Don't you?" Jay asked. "I don't know if I'd want to stay
that way, but I wouldn't mind spending a day looking like that,"
Jay volunteered. "I think it would be interesting to see how the
other half lives."
"Oh yeah? I guess I am one of the 'other half' now, and I can
say this, it's not all that special."
"You told me you liked it, and you can't tell me you haven't
played with those boobs."
"Ok, Ok, I do kind of enjoy it sometimes," Joe admitted.
"Some of the things about being like this aren't all that bad." He
grinned mischievously.
"Not all that bad? It hasn't even been a week, and you've
already been in the sack with a guy," Jay teased.
"And I'm really sorry about that, Jay," Joe blurted. "I
shouldn't have come on so strong the other night. I hope you're
not too mad. I guess I did take advantage of you."
"Take advantage of me? Hey I'm a big guy. I can take care of
myself." Jay grinned.
"Maybe so, but I think I moved a little fast."
"Move like that anytime you like, old pal," Jay commended.
"It was probably the best sex I've ever experienced."
Joe looked at Jay with a frown. "So you think maybe all girls
should have to spend some time as a guy before they become women."
"If they turn out like you, I think it'd be a good idea," Jay
agreed. "Maybe you can make the equipment that did it to you
available to everybody," he suggested, probably half joking.
"If only a way can be found to make it all work both ways,"
Joe added. "Then we would really have something."
"Now that you've been a woman for a while, if you could change
back and forth, which way do you think you would stay most of the
time?" Jay asked hypothetically.
Joe looked at his pal. "I was male for thirty years. I
experienced about all that was possible to do, as a man. On the
other hand, I've been only been like this for a week, less than a
week even. It's too early to know. I probably experienced most of
the things a guy could experience. Now I've been changed like
this. There are still a lot of things about this female stuff that
I haven't even begun to consider yet. And I might add, it scares
me to death when I do."
"Oh?" Jay said. "And what are they?"
"Well, you know about as well as anybody what my body is like
now," Joe explained. "I guess it's pretty well completely changed.
You know as well as I that its all female now, right down to the
chromosomes." He held his hand out. "Look at me. There's no way
to describe the feeling of finding that even my hands are smaller.
They look pretty much the same, but they're smaller, thinner,
feminine. I'm that way all over. In some ways I feel the same as
always, but when I really look at myself, I can tell that I'm
softer, weaker, different in all kinds of ways. On top of that,
the doctors say it's highly probable that I'll, well, experience
menstrual cycles. I'll probably have periods now. Can you believe
it? And of course, if I have periods, I can probably conceive. I
could get pregnant, Jay. Pregnant! Me! I wouldn't know how to be
mother to a baby! What would I ever do if something like that
happened?" He put his hand on Jay's shoulder, squeezing it, as if
asking for reassurance.
"Why are you so worried about getting pregnant?" Jay asked.
"You know there are things that can prevent that."
"Yeah, I know, but I also know how I felt the other night,
when we were together. I've ever felt that way before," Joe
explained. "I don't know if I could have controlled myself. If
you hadn't known about those condoms in my shaving kit, I'm sure I
would have wanted you to do it anyway. I know I couldn't have
stopped you if you had really wanted to do it. Heck, I wanted it
even more than you did, I think."
"But it was good, wasn't it?" Jay asked with a smile.
Joe smiled. "Sure. I was disappointed at first. I really
don't know if a real woman feels what I feel. I would guess they
do, but there really isn't much feeling after you're in there. It
sure feels great as it goes in though." He smiled as he recalled
the sensation. "I can't even describe it, it's so good, so
different, especially the second time, it kind of hurt the first
time, but then, after you were inside me, I really could hardly
feel a thing till you started moving around. No offense." Joe
squeezed Jay's shoulder again, winking seductively.
"You mean you could feel more with your penis?" Jay asked.
"Does it feel better now, or was it better before?"
"I don't know, it's hard to compare. It's really surprising
just how similar it does feel, most of the time anyway," Joe said.
"In some ways, it feels better now, but in others, maybe not as
good. I guess I really don't know how to answer you."
"But which do you like better?" Jay persisted. "I've always
wondered who got more out of sex, men or women. You're the first
person who might be able to answer that."
Joe grinned. "If real women feel the same thing I do, if they
tell you they don't like receiving oral sex, they've got to be
lying through their teeth."
"How do you know that?" Jay asked, genuinely surprised. "We
never did that."
Joe didn't say anything, just smiled knowingly. He would just
let Jay wonder about it. If he was going to live as a woman, he'd
have to develop his own version of the feminine mystique.
Jay looked around. They were at least a hundred yards from
the line office, and there was no one else around. They had
reached the Mooney, and were standing behind the tail, out of sight
of the office, with its big picture window. Jay bent down slightly
and planted a kiss on Joe's lips. It happened so suddenly, so
unexpectedly, that it took Joe completely by surprise. After
realized what was happening, he relaxed slightly, and let nature
take its course. It was a feeling he couldn't describe. Excite-
ment, mixed with fear, and concern that they might be seen. Still,
Joe felt a strangely pleasant feeling overtake him. In the arms of
a man, his pal Jay, Joe just let his body melt, and loved the way
it made him feel.
After an indeterminate time, Jay released him, and Joe was
again aware of what was going on around him. He pulled his shirt
down, and straightened his hair. Jay watched him with that cow
eyed look that before had irritated Joe, but now, it didn't concern
him at all.
"Why did you do that?" Joe asked, still recovering.
"Did you like it?"
"Why did you do it?"
"Why not? I wanted to, and I thought you might, too. Now I
know, you did."
Joe smiled, embarrassed. He was at a loss for words. The way
he had responded to his friend's advance proved, to both of them,
that he was no longer the old Joe Bates. Of course, he had already
suspected it himself, but he didn't really want to admit it, at
least not yet, and certainly not to others. And not to Jay.
"Jay, I don't know what to say, I guess I'm going to need some
time. I can't figure out what's going on in my head. Sure, I
guess my body knows what it likes, it really does feel good when
you touch me, but I just can't get caught up in the physical aspect
of all this so quickly," Joe said finally, after thinking it over
for a moment.
Jay kept his arm around Joe, with his hand rubbing his back,
feeling the strap of his bra. He just looked into Joe's eyes,
saying nothing.
"We better get going, don't you think?" Joe continued. He
didn't know what to do. He hadn't expected Jay to react like this.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Jay said, as if not really listening.
"Don't worry, Jay," Joe said. "We'll work this out. I'm just
not ready to be somebody's girlfriend. Not yet, if ever. But if
I ever do, you'll be the first to know." He grinned at Jay, who
looked lost in thought.
After the quick walk-around, they climbed aboard and Jay went
through the checklist. When the engine was running, Jay called
clearance delivery, and copied the transmission. Cleared as filed.
They received clearance to the runway and after a quick runup, they
were on their way. Joe worked the radios as Jay proceeded on
course. The little Mooney climbed swiftly to the ten thousand feet
they had requested. That altitude would keep them out of some of
the thermal activity which caused the ride to be uncomfortably
rough when flying low in the desert. It would be cooler on the
return trip, and they could request a lower altitude.
Before long, they needed to begin descent to Tucson. The
Mooney was fairly slick, and it was hard to descend without
overcooling the engine. Jay's plane didn't have the speed brakes
which made later models easier to fly in the terminal area. They
shot three ILS approaches, and then canceled their flight plan, and
went over to Ryan Airport to practice NDB non-precision approaches.
When they finished that, they landed at Ryan, and refiled for
the IFR return trip to Deer Valley. After another uneventful
flight, they landed and taxied to the parking ramp. Throughout the
flight, Jay had hardly spoken to Joe, except things relating to the
flight, or to make some comment about something they saw on the
ground. After the engine was silent, Jay turned to Joe.
"Would it offend you if I asked you over to the Airport Inn
for a drink? I promise I won't try to make a pass, or anything,"
he said, teasing.
"Sure, I think that would be ok," Joe said stiffly. He didn't
know how to react with Jay anymore.
They took their bags and drove to the bar just on the other
side of the road from the airport. Joe, Jay, and lots of other
pilots who flew from Deer Valley made it a regular stop after
flying, and it was often the scene of some fantastic hanger flying.
As they drove up, Joe was glad to see there were only two
other cars in the lot. He didn't recognize either of them. He was
embarrassed to have to explain his situation to people he knew,
people who wouldn't know what had happened to him and the others,
but he wasn't going to hide and hope it would all go away. That
probably wasn't going to happen. Besides, his mood had changed
again, and he wasn't feeling so bad right now. Something, the
hormones, something was giving him an emotional roller coaster
ride, and the highs sometimes felt as good as the lows felt bad.
Joe followed Jay into the dimly lit bar. It took a while till
their eyes adjusted from the setting sunlight, but by the time they
sat down at a table, Joe could see the pictures, propellers, and
other airplane stuff which festooned the walls of the cozy little
place. It was definitely a pilots' hangout.
The waitress came over immediately and waited on them. Joe
recognized her, but it was obvious that she didn't recognize him.
As he ordered, he wondered if he should tell her who he was. He
decided against it, primarily because he thought she wouldn't
believe such a claim anyway.
Joe, remembering the change in his tolerance for alcohol,
ordered rum and coke with ice. That would wet his whistle, and the
ice would dilute the drink if he nursed it for a while.
The drinks came, and Jay paid for them against Joe's objec-
tions. When the waitress left, he looked at Joe, and then started
to speak. "So you don't think you're ready to get involved, huh?"
Jay asked
"Jay, it's me here. Joe," Joe said. "How can you expect me
to want to 'get involved', or what ever you want to call it,
already. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be staying like this very
long. I can't make decisions about stuff like that now. I don't
even know what I want, and I sure don't want to get mixed up with
somebody else right now. I have enough to worry about with Linda."
He took a long gulp of his rum and coke.
"Do you still think of Linda that way?" Jay asked. He was
surprised to see Joe, who looked for all the world like an attrac-
tive young woman, practically gulp her drink.
"What do you mean by that 'THAT WAY'? Just because this has
happened to me, I haven't just started over from scratch. As I've
said before, I'm still me in here." He took another big swallow.
He was hot and thirsty, and the cool drink tasted exceptionally
good.
"But Joe, I've seen you, what you look like naked, and how you
act. I've even seen what turns you on. Don't tell me you haven't
changed, and changed a lot."
"I'm not saying that. Sure I've changed, and I'm still
changing. I don't know when it'll stop. But I still have my
memory, I still enjoy the things I always have. Maybe it's a
little different, maybe a lot different in some ways."
"I guess I know you feel about guys. Has your interest in
women changed, too?"
"Changed? Yeah, I guess some of my interests have changed.
I still like girls though, for what it's worth." Joe grinned. "I
still think they're interesting to look at, too. But maybe I'm
starting to see them in a different way now. For obvious reasons
I guess. It's hard to describe, at first, it was just like always,
except for the physical differences, and that was really strange.
But more recently, in the last couple of days especially, other
things have happened, my attitude, I don't know, maybe my brain,
the way I think, it's really kid of hard to describe. Maybe I
really am going to turn into a woman before this is all over." He
downed the contents, and stared into his empty glass.
"Do you sleep with Linda?" Jay asked bluntly.
"Is that really any of your business?" Joe snapped, but with
a smile.
"No, of course not. But I am your friend, and you know how I
feel about you. Maybe it would help to talk about it."
Joe looked into Jay's eyes. "Yeah, we still sleep together
sometimes," He admitted. "But that's changing too, I mean besides
the obvious. Linda's been really helpful through all this, really
open minded, to say the least. At first, it was really a blast,
you wouldn't believe what we did together, but now, it's not really
like that anymore. I don't know what's going on, but I just don't
find it all as interesting as at first."
"Maybe you're just not cut out to be a lesbian," Jay said,
trying to help.
"Is that what I am with her now? Lesbian?"
"I don't know, Joe. With what you've gone through, I don't
see how any of the normal terms could apply. You have to discover
what it is, and then do what's right for you. To hell with what
anybody else thinks."
"Right. I agree. But I haven't a clue what I want. That's
the problem. I hope that I can level off somewhere soon, so I can
figure out how to live like this. I can't stay on this pendulum
for the rest of my life."
"And if you decide that you need me, I'll be here," Jay said,
taking Joe's hand and squeezing it.
They looked at each other across the little table. Jay took
Joe's hand, and Joe didn't pull it away. They didn't speak, but
said it all with their eyes.
"Thanks. I really mean that, Jay," Joe said. He could feel
the tears well in his eyes, as his new emotions took over his
personality again.
"Damn it. I can't stand this damn crying all the time," He
said. "But it seems I just can't stop it."
Jay looked at his friend. It was strange seeing his buddy,
this person with such a knock-out body, and believe that he was the
same person he had known for so long. It really was Joe, he could
tell from their conversations, but It was also plain that Joe was
undergoing changes, not just physical, that was obvious, but in his
personality, his emotions. Look at him, or her actually, sitting
there, trying to hold back tears. The Joe he known before had
never been like that. It must be hard to have something take you
over your whole life, he thought.
"What's the problem?" Jay asked.
"Nothing, nothing, I just get like this sometimes," Joe said,
trying to force a grin. "Maybe it's some kind of female thing."
"Amazing. What's it like, really, Joe? What's it like to be
female? It seems simply amazing for something like this to happen,
so completely, even your emotions, your personality, amazing," Jay
just said over and over.
"Like I've already said. It's not as different as you
probably think it is. Sometimes, I can even forget that it
happened, for a little while anyway."
"But that body, how do you get any sleep?" Jay continued,
speaking in an awed whisper, and displaying a slight grin.
"Hey, it's just me." Joe replied. "Sure, it takes a little
getting used to, and I still want to look at myself when I catch my
reflection in the mirror in the bathroom, but you do get used to
it, I mean, what about you? Your bod is interesting too, don't you
think?" He teased.
"Not like yours. Forgive me, but you have the firmest tits I
think I've ever seen."
The comment about his body made Joe blush. He arched his
back, causing his chest to become more prominent. He looked at
Jay, grinning provocatively. "Yeah, they are kinda nice, aren't
they," he drawled, chuckling. "And they feel so good too," he
said, seductively cupping one of the soft mounds with the open palm
of his hand. Joe felt his inhibitions free up as even the tiny bit
of alcohol he had consumed reached his brain. He could see Jay was
watching everything he did, and that his actions were affecting his
old friend. It was interesting to see the new power the changes in
his body gave him. Joe didn't realize it, but he was reacting like
some young girls did when they reached adolescence and discovered
the power of sexual attraction. He found it exciting to watch
Jay's reaction to his flirtatious teasing.
Jay watched Joe carefully. His friend had only consumed half
of his drink, but it was obviously causing him to act strangely.
Amazing. Before, Joe, who really never did drink a lot, could
still have easily handled three of these rum and cokes without any
obvious effect.
"Are you feeling all right, Joe?" Jay asked.
"Yeah. I'm feeling great!" Joe exclaimed. "It doesn't take
much for a buzz anymore." He raised his hand to attract the
waitress.
"You better not have any more. I don't want to be accused of
taking advantage of you." Jay teased.
"I know you wouldn't do that," Joe said. "But I do have one
thing I want you to promise me."
"And what is that?"
"Promise me, if we ever get together again, you know, in bed,
that you'll never do anything without using something, protection,
you know," Joe rambled.
"Yeah, I know. And don't worry about it," Jay said. "I
always carry something with me, just in case."
"Just in case?" Joe asked, smiling demurely. "In case of
what?"
"You never know," Jay said. "You never know."
"Yeah. That's right. I tell you, when it hits me, I don't
think I can control it, I mean, I always thought sex drive was
strongest for the male, but now I don't know, when I start to feel
a certain way, I almost think my body has a mind of its own. I
don't think I could control it if I wanted too. It's that strong."
The waitress came to their table. Joe asked for another rum
and coke. He looked at Jay.
"And give this handsome guy another one too," Joe said.
When the Waitress left Jay spoke to him. "Don't you think you
better slow down?"
"I've only had one so far," Joe answered. "I'll be careful.
And besides, you're driving."
Jay didn't want to sound like a worrier, but he didn't know
what to expect from his friend. He sometimes acted so different
now.
"Just be careful," Jay said.
The waitress brought the next round. Joe immediately took a
long draw from the sweet drink. Jay paid again, but this time Joe
let him without saying a word.
Downing the last glass so quickly made Joe realize that he
needed to pee. That observation reminded him of his new anatomy,
and what he would need to do to relieve the pressure.
"God, I gotta pee," Joe said, snickering. "What a pain in the
ass."
He got up, and walked straight to the ladies room. The drink
had removed some of the inhibitions he normally had. He really
hadn't had that much, and he wasn't really drunk, but his apprehen-
sions were now in the background, and it felt pretty good to him.
Entering the small ladies room, Joe looked around. Except for
the waitress, there were probably no other women in the place, and
he was alone. From habit, he looked around for a urinal, and then,
feeling for his penis, he touched his new anatomy. For some
reason, it struck him as funny, and he started to laugh softly.
Going to one of the two stalls, he went inside and pulled his
shorts down. He looked down at his panties, rubbing the slick
fabric which covered the changes of his groin. It was all so
strange, and so funny. He laughed some more.
Finally, the humor was overtaken by the need to urinate, and
he lowered his sexy little undies, and sat. When he finished, he
pulled his panties up, and again felt the strange sensation of the
strap riding in the crack of his butt. He pulled up his shorts,
and then went back out to the table.
"Sometime, I've just got to show you what I'm wearing
underneath these clothes," Joe said to a surprised Jay.
"Oh, yeah?" Jay asked. "What is it?"
"You have to see 'em," Joe said. "Words won't do it justice."
"You've got my curiosity piqued now, Joe," Jay said. "When do
I get to see?" He went along with his friend's seemingly wandering
talk. Joe was obviously feeling his drink.
"Sometime," Joe said, "But not now, not here. Sometime."
"Have you ever peed in one of those little cups?" Joe
continued. "You know, at the doctor's office."
What was he getting at? Jay wondered. "Yeah, I guess I have."
"Well, You didn't have to do it the way I did today," Joe
said. "You should have seen me. It probably looked like a monkey
fucking a football."
Jay had to laugh. He could imagine Joe filling a specimen cup
with his new anatomy. Poor guy. He was probably just venting some
of his frustrations. He was just so darn beautiful, how could he
stand it?
"I think I better take you home," Jay said. "You gotta be at
work tomorrow."
"It's probably still daylight," Joe objected. "And besides
they don't need me there. They're gonna try stuff on gerbils, or
monkeys, or something tomorrow. They don't need me."
"I think I better get you home," Jay repeated. He didn't know
what Joe might do if they continued drinking.
"Yeah. I guess I'm getting a little blitzed. I'm really a
cheap drunk now, aren't I?" He laughed.
"Don't worry about it," Jay said. "But we better get you
home."
They finished their drinks, and went outside. It was not yet
completely dark, but it would be soon. They drove straight to
Linda's house.
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